Dear Julien,

I ONLY WANTED YOU

They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

Author unknown

Tonight we lit a candle for you Julien.
It has been one month since you left us. It is lightening and thundering and I said to Tommy, as we sat on the porch, that if Julien were here, he would be butting in to sit between us, as just after I said that, Madeline came over and did exactly that. Purla came and sat with us too. She will likely be next to see Julien, we are giving her lots of messages to take to him. I sat out for a long time, I hope he is not afraid of the thunder. He was never afraid before, until our roof broke, and then this summer he was a little nervous, but without mommy....who knows. I miss you baby, I love you so much. Kisses to heaven.
Mommy