I remember picking you up like it was yesterday. It was the best day we could ever ask for. We were so excited to finally take you home. We're a family now, your dad said. You were perfect. In every way. We couldn't put you down. We tried to kennel you for night, but your little cries broke our hearts, so we cuddled you all night instead. I miss cuddling you every single day.
We had so much fun with you, and you were such a little ham. We often pretended there was a zipper somewhere in your fur, and inside was a little boy. You were our first little boy and you always will be.
You brought joy to my heart every single day. I couldn't wait to get in the door and see your smile and wiggling bum, complete with a little hop. We took you everywhere, and everyone who met you, loved you too.
The hole in my heart is unbearable. One year is passed and the tears have not dried. I regret every moment that led to that day. I replay it often and try to change the ending, but it always ends up the same. I will never see you again. I will never hold you again. I will forever wish you were here, sharing life, and doing the things we loved to do.
Julien, I will love you forever, and miss you until the day I die.
xoxo
Mommy
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